


arms unfolding

by alimacbrux



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Getting Back Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-25 07:34:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17720879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alimacbrux/pseuds/alimacbrux
Summary: It's been two years since Dan and Phil have seen each other after an explosive break up. But now, a few years later when they're both a bit more certain of themselves, maybe, just maybe, they can make it work again.Based on Dodie's song "Arms Unfolding"





	arms unfolding

It had been over two years. Over two years since slamming doors and falling tears and shouting voices. Over two years since Dan packed his bags and stormed out of their shared apartment, tears flowing and voice hoarse from screaming for the last few hours. 

Looking back on it, Dan realised that perhaps they had been too young. Maybe they rushed into it too fast, as excited and naive as they were. 

When Dan first started dating Phil, he had been on the edge of depression, completely out of his depth in a course he dreaded and mostly alone in a world that was turning out to be even more daunting and merciless than Dan had feared. Phil had been this seemingly carefree and confident light at the end of Dan’s tunnel, fresh from university and ready to take on the world. He quickly became Dan’s rock, prepared to take care of the mess that Dan had been, prepared to help him carry the weight of years of doubt and fears. 

But soon, life become a bit more serious, a bit more confusing, a bit more mature. 

Dan caved under life’s pressure, spiraling into an existential mess of self-hatred and depression. He grew irritable and angry, taking his pent up emotions out on Phil. 

Phil had tried, he really had, to be there for Dan. He tried to let the shouts roll off his back, tried to tell himself Dan didn't really mean the horrible words he shrieked late into the nights. He loved Dan with all his heart and never wanted anything to happen to him. 

But soon it became too hard to handle. He began fighting back, started shouting back just as loud and brutal as Dan, maybe even more sometimes. He started spending days and even weeks sleeping on the couches of other friends. He no longer chased after Dan when he stormed out of their apartment after particularly terrible fights. 

And so it had come as very little surprise to either of them when Dan viciously told Phil, “I’m done. I’ve had enough. I’m leaving.” 

Over two years later, after almost two years of intense therapy and medication and healing, Dan was on his way to meet up with Phil again. 

It had been a shock to get that message from Phil, phone buzzing in his pocket while he waited in a queue at Starbucks. 

Phil Lester: _Hey, I know it's been ages, but do you want to maybe catch up over coffee sometime?_

__To be honest, at the time, Dan had wanted to throw his phone out the window and pretend he never saw that message in the first place. How could Phil possibly want to speak to him after all this time?_ _

__At Dan’s next therapy the following week, Dan brought it up to his therapist, nearly dropping his phone in his haste to show her the text message._ _

__To Dan’s horror at that moment, his therapist had suggested that he actually went through with it. Dan was doing much better, after all. He was no longer as lost and angry as he had been when he left Phil. He had embraced not only his naturally curly hair but his sexuality as well._ _

__And so, a few weeks later, Dan was stepping off the train, looking down at his phone to tell Phil he was almost at the cafe they were meeting in._ _

__Dan: _hey that’s me @ the station, see u in a few mins__ _

____Phil replied almost instantly with a single thumbs up emoji. Dan rolled his eyes at his continued insistence on using those awful characters, though it held much less fire than his eye rolls used to._ _ _ _

____The cafe was bustling with life, packed with people chatting and giggling over cups of steaming hot drinks. Baristas scurried around behind the till making drinks, the familiar roar of blenders and coffee machines filling Dan’s ears._ _ _ _

____Out of the corner of his eye, Dan caught sight of Phil, sitting at one of the couch seats in the corner of the shop. Right where they used to sit when they went to these places frequently._ _ _ _

____He was a sight to behold. His dark hair was still as dark as ever, though he had finally ditched his fringe in favour of pushing it back in a sleek, flawless quiff. He was dressed in tight black jeans and a grey jumper with roses on a sleeve, scrolling through a phone with a bright purple case on it._ _ _ _

____Almost as soon as Dan entered, Phil’s head shot up and their eyes met across the room. A genuine, bright grin spread across Phil’s lips, one of his hands coming up to wave somewhat awkwardly. He picked up one of the cups, indicating that he already got one for Dan._ _ _ _

____How thoughtful._ _ _ _

____Dan made his way through the sea of people, apologising under his breath and stopping at the table Phil was perched next to._ _ _ _

____“Erm, hey there,” he replied, sticking his hands in his pockets. He suddenly had no idea what he was supposed to be doing. A fist tightened around his chest, restricting his breathing and causing his heart to constrict dangerously. Dan swallowed down the hardness in his throat._ _ _ _

____“I, erm, got you a coffee,” Phil stated as Dan settled down on a chair across the table from him, “You still like caramel macchiatos?”_ _ _ _

____Dan’s face flushed and his gaze fell to his lap, lip finding its way between Dan’s teeth. “Uh, I’m sorta doig the vegan thing again, actually, so…” Dan explained, voice trailing off, falling into thin air._ _ _ _

____“Oh.”_ _ _ _

____Dan forced himself to look back at Phil, giving him a forced yet apologetic smile. “Thank you, though. I, uh, didn't think you’d actually remember that,” he added, clearing his throat._ _ _ _

____“Of course,” Phil replied. There was something about Phil’s tone, something about the words that he said that made Dan’s heart skip a few beats._ _ _ _

____Was it getting hotter in there or was Dan just crazy?_ _ _ _

____Dan shot up from his seat again, startling Phil somewhat. “I’ll just–I’m gonna go buy a coffee. I’ll be–I’ll be back,” he blurted, scuttling away towards the endless queue, leaving Phil alone at the table with two coffees._ _ _ _

____“Your hair’s curly,” Phil commented once Dan returned with a latte with almond milk a few minutes. Dan looked up from his coffee, which he had been stirring with the long spoon they gave him, eyebrows raised. “You never liked them, back when—you know.”_ _ _ _

____Dan nodded, smirk playing on his lips. “And your fringe is finally gone as well,” Dan replied smoothly, sitting back in his seat and picking up his mug in both hands. “You don’t mind the hobbit hair, then?”_ _ _ _

____Phil shook his head back and forth, nearly giving himself whiplash. “No, I-I like it. I always told you you suit the waves.” His entire face burned violet, contrasting with his still translucent skin and he quickly brought his mug to his lips to swallow down his slight embarrassment._ _ _ _

____It was awkward to say the least._ _ _ _

____After over two years of not speaking a word to each other, after their relationship had been torn to billions of miniscule threads they had both struggled to piece back together, neither of them knew quite what to say. They didn’t know anything about the last two years of each other's lives, save for a few measly facts from friends that still stayed in touch._ _ _ _

____They went from seeing each other every day, always knowing everything that happened in the other’s day, to years of radio silence and now they were back to sitting together in the corner of a stuffed cafe._ _ _ _

____Were they supposed to apologise? Were they supposed to pretend none of that had happened, that neither of them had hurt the other and left them both pained and wary? Where did they go from here?_ _ _ _

____“I’m sorry,” Dan suddenly blurted after they had been sitting in silence for a good few minutes. Phil looked up from his coffee, arching one of his eyebrows. “For everything. For years ago. For the shouting and the name calling and the slamming doors and the silent treatments.”_ _ _ _

____Phil blinked rapidly, straightening up in his chair. He put his cup down in its saucer and scooted forward in his seat to look closely at Dan. Blue eyes met brown like the ocean met a sandy beach, intense and captivity as they always had been._ _ _ _

____“I’m sorry, too,” he replied simply, “I’m sorry for all the shit I said to you and for ignoring you. I wish it hadn't ended as explosively as it did, but it was years ago, now. I’m doing much better now.”_ _ _ _

____Dan nodded, chewing on his lip. “Me too. I’m doing better than I ever have. I started seeing a therapist almost two years ago and she’s been a massive help in my recovery,” Dan rambled, “Do you want to maybe try again? Maybe not date again, at least not immediately, but at least friends? I know it's been years and we probably both have walls up to protect ourselves from it happening again—I know I do—but surely it can’t hurt to at least try again, right?_ _ _ _

____“I think I’d like to try again and see if it works out better. We’re both better and I–I think I’d like to have you around again. You were always such good company, you know, when I wasn’t horrible to you,” he continued, hands gesturing wildly in emphasis, “It's okay if you don’t want to. I know how awful I was to you. It was a panicked response and I didn’t know what the hell I was going to do with my life and that's not an excuse, but yeah. I’m willing to try again if you are.”_ _ _ _

____Once he finished his tangent, Dan released a heavy breath and fell back in his seat. He gulped down the last of his drink, looking up at Phil from his slouched position on the armchair, eyes hopeful and questioning._ _ _ _

____“Okay. Yeah, I’m willing to try again if you are,” Phil said, giving Dan a surprisingly soft smile, “We were both equally bad to each other but I want to try again. I’ve missed being a couple these last couple years.” Phil reached across the table, taking one of Dan’s hands in his and making eye contact so deep Dan struggled not to squirm in his seat. He hadn't been under that gaze in so long. “It might take a while to get back to normal between us, I’m warning you now. But I wanna see if we can make it work again, now that we’re not quite as uncertain as we were back then.”_ _ _ _

____Dan grinned, dimples popping. He squeezed Phil’s hand. “I know this will take work, but I’m going to work harder to be a good–whatever to you. I think we owe it to both of us.”_ _ _ _

____“Agreed.”_ _ _ _

____Dan had to go not long after, an important meeting the following day that he wanted to be awake for. He apologised profusely, having actually enjoyed Phil’s company after so many years. He felt hopefully that hey could actually make it work this time._ _ _ _

____“Seriously, Dan, it's fine. We can still see each other again, this isn't a goodbye again,” Phil assured, standing up as Dan pulled on his coat, “Is it?”_ _ _ _

____Dan zipped up his coat, beaming at Phil. “Definitely not,” he replied, “I’ll, er, see you soon then?” Phil nodded, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “See you around, Lester.” Dan threw all caution into the wind and leaned over, kissing Phil chastely, quickly on the cheek before he turned on his heel and strided towards the exit._ _ _ _

____Maybe they could work again. Maybe, with some collective effort to rebuild their relationship and knock down the barriers between them, they could make this happen again. And hey, maybe it wouldn't work out and they would lose that again._ _ _ _

____But as Dan stepped onto the train a few minutes later, hope was settling in his chest again. If Phil was willing to work to rekindle their flame, so was Dan._ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> Come and say hi on tumblr @sufganiyot-phil !


End file.
